It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
