Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
