NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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