i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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