I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
