I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
