I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
