I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
