..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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