Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
