Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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