Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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