the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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