i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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