I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
