u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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