ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i think i have herpe
just one?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Randomize
