I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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