so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
