All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
