just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
