he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize