I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize