Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
