R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize