why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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