I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
