I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize
