Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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