Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
