My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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