It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
