I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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