I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
