I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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