She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
