Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
