Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
PANTIES FOUND
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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