i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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