There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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