She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
