I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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