suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
whose parrot is this?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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