I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
