So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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