My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
