True but thats because hes a fetus.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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