Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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