Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
