My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize