ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
