She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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