guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
