It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
