so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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