1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
