I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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