Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
operation have a gay friend backfired
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm passing your future prison.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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