To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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