Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
